That's me! With a new aggironamento Lima! The quality is not the best, but you hope you are happy, especially because ... there is a cover XD! Happy reading e. .. aggiroanmento I dedicate this to Miriam, who helped me with my problems with the sims, and Angy, who ... in one way or another helps me with all restooooo! , P
years had passed, and again, every night, that image, the sounds, smell acrid, were engraved in my head. I still put her hands to cover her face, pulling the skin of the cheeks, stretching my face, almost to want to rip off the face despair ... my weakness is disheartening. it's funny to think that beneath their blows, the battered stereo was gone, giving the fight a very unusual soundtrack ... Imagine the sound of fists going to break a nose e. .. the soundtrack of La Traviata in the background .. the atmosphere is tragicomic, nerves stretched are more than skin deep. And the fear stops you, because in those moments you might move? No, you can not do. You can only wait-You may think that this time tomorrow everything will be past and you smile, but you know you can not smile anymore. Your legs are blocked, and so is your heart, it is useless to hope, needless to cry, because your cry would be stifled by the cries of pain from your mother ... There. Another bone is broken, and you're there, and this is the only time you'd like to wake up and do not know, but no, this is the night when you will know the truth, and not you! But you want it. You want it because otherwise apriresti those eyes! You want to know ... would like to breathe, but you do not, let your mind will reveal what has long chase, and when you know, you know, who could not understand.
In an instant, in one moment, those hands that seemed to resume their strike in slow progress, indeed, accelerate, or maybe ... maybe skip the upcoming step, why do not you understand .. they were there first, before struggling now ... now the music is silent. Silent as the sound of his head smashes against the old mobile, you wonder, will break the furniture, or head to sell? The answer is simple, so seemingly fragile woman, so odious is strong to be broken by a piece of rotten wood, those chips are still on her skin, and it is only red. Red everywhere. It's funny, poppy red, tomato red, love red, red heart, red .. passion. The passion of my mother before my eyes, immolated to his madness. the blood drip on the eyes, and you almost want to be looking into his eyes one last time, perhaps with a look of affection, perhaps with a reproachful look, because it seems only a broken porcelain doll, so why not she seems. But it's you, and you understand why you do not even look now that is dying, and her eyes lost their color by now, his body will be even colder than it felt like a child ... under the strong arms of Kennedy, you glide, first on his knees, then to the side, and what do you think? Then up to you to wash away the blood from the floor of the room your mother of your child.
My mother lay on the ground, dead. Kennedy left the room, was in the bathroom, with his sleeves rolled up to above the elbows, the white blood-stained sink, streams of red water were mixed, I watched my mother, and even at that moment I felt can not hold. I could tighten me, do not tell her what was left to say never, but ... the fear, the fear that now that the cold arm manages to get away again, was too strong. It seems absurd, but in those moments can not be shiny! I can swear to have seen the Grim approached her with the pen and erase his name from the list. I could swear that came out from under that cap the sentence: "See you soon." On one other thing I could swear, my mother is now in hell, another fire wears his flesh, these thoughts are bad. I turned and saw her for the first time, a patch of blood stained your face. With the corner of her nightgown I cleaned it, I'm sure ... that spot is been cleaned, but I still see her, but maybe it's just a reflection of my guilt.
Were you a strange child. I would say especially. It did not seem nephew Isa, my son did not look, did not seem to Lima .. you were a fish out of water ... quedli with clear eyes and sad, from which I could read every thought, too bad I never wanted to do, now we will not be here. Could I ask you now, but now I know why you were sad. Rricordo yet that day, when your hot little hands took my hand and squeezed hard.
"You know mom, people who have warm hands have a good heart."
I do not know ... that phrase came my ears like an accusation, rather, as a conviction. And I understood that it was different because my hands were always cold, my mother's hands were always cold, Kennedy's hands were always cold, you do not. Your were hot, your hot little body was still living. Search for your embrace the warmth that I never had. And that was a sign. I was wrong, but maybe you do not, maybe I saw the stain on your face was not your fault but my fault, maybe I wanted I had too, because that weight resulted itself was too much for me. Look for the sin in a child shows just how big were the mei.
From that day we left. You and Kennedy ervate perfect together, despite everything. I will never stop to wonder how I managed to .. leave it behind. He killed a woman and manages to smile as before, Do not ever think or at least hide his torment diquanto not much better than I do. That morning, one of your first day of school, you were caught between the strong arms that Strignano your pajamas batteries, and then his fingers were so skinny you go to tickle his belly, in that way that only he could do, and that you hated but you loved so much. Were agitated, but he could make you laugh. I watched it all away, leaving me to take that image which did not seem to belong to this family. Maybe that's why I took this photo and put it in my diary, I kept all these little things in my heart. Because he could despite his guilt being a good parent and not me?
was so good to convince you to go to school. You were all excited with your new coat, blue, your favorite color, and hair blacks and smooth, all arruffatti wind and splashed on the front. You were all sweaty because I had to pick a race, your shortness of breath did not hide a large and sweet smile. You were a abmbino so open, and I wanted you to live a normal life, full of friends and games and swings, I wanted for you what I had not had, and he also wanted to Kennedy. While I could see that white dot moving away already missed you, and greeted with that undulating movement of the hand, and went to greet a little '... maybe because of that window you could see me, and you would not hurt if your mom would look at you as he was leaving for the trip so imporant. I smiled, and it was a sad smile, but happy ...
That same morning I met Edward. Incredible as it might hit me a lot of news in one day. I must admit that I was never very good at cooking, this "dowry" I had definitely inherited from my mother. I called the Chinese restaurant on the corner, and requested home delivery service, Albertino would soon come home, and as usual I had prepared lunch. I often miss the look in a vacuum, spend hours observing the ceiling helpless. I thought. I thought of you, that you were now independent, I thought that Kennedy wanted another child, and to me, my life, which would certainly have been jeopardized by a new pregnancy. To adopt one I do not even passed through my head, I was already a bad mother to you, you were my biological child, I would never be able to feed sincere feelings for a child who did not have my own blood. I'm shocked to sound of the doorbell, and coming ... I saw him e. .. I found a partial solution to my feeling a desperate housewife. By slalom between the holes in the ground maledissimi mentally neighbors dog, and tried to maintain a relaxed and friendly expression. In front of me the figure of Edward became more defined, and I thought that maybe once, indeed, probably a nice guy so I could conquer with a glance.
smile, maybe air too flirtatious, and tried one approach. At a guess it was college, could have ... 22? 23 years? I'd rather not say how old I was, the fact is that my behavior at that time does not show at all. From his look I realized that despite the age difference was not remained immune to my charms, I wanted to ask him to come in, sit down, drink a cup of coffee .. maybe something else. I stayed, and took out largomento more stupid, the first that went through my head. Maybe I should eat the tongue, the fact is that in my carelessness that I caught a direzioen have literally changed the days.
"So, how to work the Blue Dragon? "From this simple question left
a speech very little interest, on the dreams of the boy, who turned essere molto meno infantile di me. Scoprii che la sua era una scalata al successo, che avrebbe voluto fare il cuoco, che guadagnava pochissimo ma con l'occhio rubava molte informazioni. Fu allora che sparai la cazzata più grande:
"Mannò! Non ci crederai, ma io da ragazza desideravo ardentemente diventare cuoca, ma poi gli eventi hanno cambiato tutto, ora rimango con questo rimpianto..."
Sorrisi, il mio era un sorriso forzato, mi meraviglio ancora di come lui non avesse capito le mie reali intenzioni, o di come, ancora una volta mi aveva battuta in astuzia. Mi spiegò che suo padre era proprietario di una catena di fast-food, e se ci stavo, poteva assumermi a tempo determinato. I accepted, even if only for fear of inconsistent show ...
I spent the rest of the morning to play with my new friend. When I heard the sound of macchian Kennedy in the driveway, I did go out the back window, trying to invent a record time an excuse to justify the fact that a) I was half naked b) I was made out of rice to 8 servings Cantonese all alone c) the room was not ready d) the floor of the bedroom was strewn with men's clothes d) a naked man came out from behind a hedge in our garden and was about to cross the road race. With one foot all hid under the bed, and clothes that the cans empty and stinking, feces from the shower and I got under ficcai instantly.
Kennedy immediately went to the bathroom, luckily the point) had made him forget the point c). He said there was a fool around and that we had sent to your room, was about to call the police. Fortunately I was able to invent an excuse again, I told him how the neighbor's son, poor man, smoked a bit 'too much marijuana, and, dropping the towel, I could make him forget what had happened. That evening, although the day had been completely out of the ordinary, our family seemed normal as usual, you abbracciasti Kennedy, and I felt a slight pang of grief, I decided not to look the scene, and go to bed directly.
I was in my room, lying on the bed, lecoperte I came to his chin, and a weight on his chest that made me choke. I hear you play and dance in the living room, once again I was left out. Your was a microcosm, I could not join. Just picked up my breathing became regular forces and, seeing distracted I managed to take a huge trash bag inside and hide all traces of my escapade. That is that it was adrenaline. The only thing I still had not calculated was like saying to my husband and I, his wife and the whole house famiglai, I had found a job at a fast food center. I imagined that it would burst into laughs, which would be angry, that would make me fired. It was nothing like this. Imapssibile remained, and after a little grunt 'on my responsibility towards you and her, gave me the go-ahead for an adventure, which in his opinion, I would get tired soon. Despite the thought and smell of frying fat, despite being forced to cook all day, and having to do with people of all sorts for most of the day, I let out a little smile of victory, I had finally a bit 'of freedom, and I was determined to keep her close. Nothing could convince me to quit that job, even you.
My first day off after months of starting school, and scrape plates after countless afternoons, I devoted an old friend, your father, Yanez. I had many things to tell him, if only we were that type of relationship. I could tell him that I love working, and being, albeit minimal, independent. I could finally tell him that I was not alone daughter, wife and mother, but I was also a woman. I could tell you many things. But no. I opened my mouth e. ..
"is over."
not you expect it, and even I nn I expected, but those words were right out of my mouth! After years of secrets and subterfuge, in which hidden from prying eyes we left abandoned in passion. Now I felt I was no longer the case. And if there are no more words, if there are more strokes, if not a passion, what is chasing? You were there, and you were a certainty, he was not there ever been, and if you do not miss him, did not know his existential, and I wanted it more ... what erviva poke fun at it? My life was now another. If I was healthy for me the sex I could always call Edward. She stroked his cheek with his hand, and Simas so, stop staring at me. For a second I wanted to lose in his eyes, but despite my desire not funzioanva more. His eyes were pleading, I was wondering something, and I could not give her one. He kissed me, was a long kiss, and neither closed his eyes. We kissed with open eyes, as few others do eprsone. Maybe he was waiting for a gesture, one of my thoughts. This did not happen. Scivoalre left hand and got up, emerged from the water and left the house. I do not know how long it took, I just know that when I could finally move out of the bath and the water was cold now. I opened my mouth, do not let out any sound, but I cried. Tears rigarono my face, knowing ...
The next morning I pretended to be ill thought Kennedy to prepare breakfast. His culinary skills are still at the cornflackes and milk, but you appreciate it anyway. You think I preferred them to my cake pan burned my pancakes or blackened. We felt Arlara of little things, things that seemed insignificant to me, but for you, you were a child, were vital. The science project, the last race of gymnastics, you wanted to call AMCO at home, so that the toy you wanted, the snow that you have never seen. With me he never spoke of these things. Limit yourself to hug me or talk to your teddy bear, I would just the night to come and spy on while you were asleep, tucked in, to kiss his forehead, caressing. Now look at me wonderingly, but this is the truth. Although sometimes it seems that everything that is around you is against you, you can shadow someone watch over you. I'm not saying that it was the guardian tuoa Angela, but I say trying. Try is enough?
When I received a promotion at work, you were the first to know. It was your first hug after a long time, I must admit that my commozzione was immense. My little boy, I wanted a hug, that was the most beautiful prize. I remember that I promised you a big gift, I remember that I made big plans that night. It took us all dressed up and went to amngiare out to celebrate. If for me this was a victory, Kennedy was a defeat. That evening, my response to the announcement, he made another. He had decided to adopt a child. He had already begun the practice without my consent. You you began to jump around the room, I could not hide a look of diapprovazione to him. I had forgotten what he had done, and the only reason that prompted me to pretend that nothing had Acadia, was the fear that his love for you, it could turn into a blackmail to me. Now faced at that table set, the light of the candles, their smoke, you scream of joy, watching the eyes of man, and I wondered what hidden quel'ultimo trickery.
One morning I found a discussion on the sofa, making speeches as a man. He talked about what would be your duty to be great, going to college, marry a good girl, do so many children who would carry on our family name. Smile in front of the absurdity of those speeches, you could coem so small, understand the Machiavellian plans of this man? Your reply, however, surprised me:
"I I do not want to marry anyone from large, I just want my mother, "
ran out of the room, I ran to the bathroom and rinsed repeatedly face the mirror reflection of my face showed a spot of blood, the same that I saw on you. We were the rest of Lima. Yet I felt that sharp pain to the heart, I went to lie down. In the face of all this I felt weak, helpless, I wanted the strong arms of Yanez, his silence to reassure me. But no, now there was not even him. We were alone, in fact, I was to be alone. The future was a mystery. Kennedy knocked on the door, said he had received the confirmation letter. The girl had consented to lend her womb for the new child. He continued to knock insistently until I decided to open up and show me a smile.
"Mom, Mom, look what I found! You've never read this book of fairy tales! Please please please! is Sunday, at least read me the beginning! "
I knew I was beginning to be jealous of the attention devoted to Kennedy to prepare for the arrival of new baby, and you needed at least of my attention. I made a big effort and I decided to pick up the book, that book was ... more than a notebook, written thick thick. Gasped, it was what I was looking for time. We squeezed in a hug, I apologized to you, and ran to lock them away in my room, eager. Despite felt your voice and your complaints go through the door, I could not take my eyes off that card. Ate it, and know when I left that door, everything was different. We smiled, took a book off the shelves and decided to read for the umpteenth time peter pan. You were a bit 'put out, but You decided to settle, it was better than nothing. I smiled, satisfied at last, beginning to turn the wheel now.
Um ... er excuse me for the horrors scattered throughout the text syntax spelling, grammar, general XD but I'm really really frettah! Please forgive me! Ok, I hope not to have disappointed, and not to have left with all the answers ... although I think that for once, a little help I might miss it. I hope you enjoyed barking XD Until next e. .. I will be repetitive, commentaaaaaate! XD
