Lj Hi! I was a bit 'absent? Ovviochesi! But now back to Lima! I know, I wrote an episode, but for two reasons! The first is that in a sense is really the beginning of a legacy, because I had lost my saved games, but in truth I'd be readable by anyone, even for those who followed me so far. The second reason is that now the Lima LoD, and then no one can complain about my no happy ending! Now I wash my hands and you think about you! An update is a bit 'introduction, nothing special, but because I know that I lost the hand, but I hope to recover soon! Ok, 'nuff said! Under the cut!
not want to be a rebel
not want to convince everyone that I am grown more ...
in recent months that the last few years
not necessarily want to look at the sky and then feel a
part I do not want nor stars nor
to be star who puts aside
And my history I just know I
and with those who really loved me ...
5 Years 3 Months 28 Days
7 Hours 48 Minutes
She walked away, and I did not see her again.
3 Months
28 Days 9 Hours 4 Minutes
She left me, his words written in a few lines. As if a piece of paper could explain why everything from that day forward would be changed.
not take much to change things. In short, everyone knows that the law of the butterfly flapping its wings at the equator and that triggers a tornado in Tokyo was so ..? I do not know, the important is that you understand the concept. No, his departure was not a beat of a butterfly, she was much more. He took me to see things from another point of view, to want more, try to be better, I'm a bastard, but I'm not a liar, I know that the fault is all mine.
I have invested all their savings in a land that I have not. I take it as a metaphor for my soul. Ok, at this point anyone who knew me even a minimum laugh. Giulio many big words! Who ever want to make fun of Julius? No, I do not want to mock anyone, for once in my life ... I just think you can forget all the numbers mentioned above, I think that a green field is a cut in the past, and my house I can rebuild a new person, a better person that you do not sow sorrow in its wake.
A tent for sleeping, the bar on the left to wash and eat, I did not need anything else. Oh well, of course, a job, I had no big claims, was honest enough.
And then she arrives. Back to you that you had destroyed life, back to remind you all that you should have and wanted to forget. Coming from behind, with a slow pace, but recognize its scent of vanilla.
"Julius! Julie Lima what the hell are you doing? " He asked me before I turn around. I recognized the voice, and of course the tone of disapproval.
"Well I'm looking for a job ..." Only later I realized it was really her, after months waiting for his return, he was there, talking to me, and I ... I could not help but turn around e.. well to make a face like a complete idiot!
"How did you find me?" I asked
She did not look at me, looking at the ground the tips of her feet, her hands closed into fists, his body was stiff, and even before opening mouth could be all his discomfort.
"I ... well I told your mother. No, do not get me wrong, I did not ask me where I was, but I phoned her in the middle of the night in tears because her baby is gone to live alone in the middle of a field. He asked me to change your mind, it has the stupid belief that .. well I can convince you to put your head in place. Great shit! "
" No. .. is not so ... if anyone can convince me to go home .. well that's you, although at the moment ... I'm not going to move from here ... "
" Forget it! I had no doubt about it. You have not changed Julius for nothing, but then, who expects something from you? Not me of course ... now I stopped deluding myself, "she said sarcastically.
"No, I love .."
"NO!" Burst into a hysterical laugh, "Do not try to call me love! Do not you dare! After all I've done you've lost the right to call me that! "
" But no, so I can call you because ... you know I love you, and are the most important person to me ... I'm trying to change, and why are you! Come back to me, give me another chance! Do not throw away so throughout our history! "
" Ok, now you're really making me angry! What should I be throwing away our history? IO?? Ok ... I also try to remain calm, but with you it is impossible! "
" Even you would kiss me now, right? "
" Nooooo! Absolutely! Giulio wake up! How can you even remotely think of that! You've broken my heart! Come and ask me another chance when you've had hundreds! Now ... I lost count of your adventures ... .. let's see who was the last? The professor of literature or her name .. Rebecca ..? "
" No, wait, with Rebecca there was absolutely nothing, she was just my friend .. she understood me. I would not have even touched with a finger ... "
She fell silent, and turned her head away.
"She'll understand?! And I do not?? Who was next to you when you wake up in the middle of the night because of fear shouted prey to nightmares? IO! Who pretended not to hear you call loudly during the night Emma? Always me! But you ... to you is something you do not never give a damn, and still do not understand. Walking through the campus and everyone looked at me as if I were a poor, stupid ... poor girl has the antlers of a reindeer! But I tolerated everything, because in the end you always came back home to me ... but just now, I have a dignity! "
" Yes, you understood me too, but it is different ... even Rebecca is an orphan, I could talk with her about many things . We also talk to her .. well, he was a friendship, but nothing that could be likened to our relationship. "
" Giulio But you're not an orphan! Your mother is alive and kicking and a father, although he was not really your father, I've always had! Stop being the misunderstood! Admit it, you've always been terrified of a serious relationship, well I do not! I want a family, want a house, I want a future with a man who love me and respect me, and neither do you know how much I wish that man was you .. but unfortunately can not be! "
"But you can be! Look at this land, here we can build the house so desires, brick by brick, how to rebuild our relationship! I love you like never before and I'm sure. If you a family what you want me .. okay Fran! I'm ready, here, now, with you! "
I tried to caress her face, to accompany his smile, but she would not let me, and for a split second, with his hand held mine, and I felt his heat, and the slight electric shock.
"But I am not Julius. Not with you. I'm sorry ... but you can not. I. .. I believe that you think you love me, but honestly .. I doubt you know what's really love. "
" I have come here to hurt Julie, I have hurt you and also to myself. Tell Tell your mother that you are adamant, moreover, is the truth .. but at least call her every now okay? Tranquillizzala ... now has a certain age, I know that you are not on good terms but ... basically does not deserve all this indifference ... I ... I think this is really goodbye. I wish you much happiness ... and really be able to change ... "
" Francesca
...." "Goodbye Julie ..." I looked away, I still remember the image in slow motion, and I will, powerless, so 'else could I do? Maybe if I run I would have just made angrier ...
That night in my tent, lying on the cold ground I turned and I turned, thinking back to Frank, his disapproval. I turned on the phone after week, you found us 12 messages on the answering machine, all of my mother, and went from pleading, Arrabbiata, the threatening, exasperation and then ... then I felt the last of the unexpected visit I had received the same day. It was easy for Fran to talk about mother son relationship, when my mother was always satisfied and only man on duty, when he always let the man of the moment hit me. I do not even know what a father, but how do you explain to your wife that every night you come back to you when you were a child and hid under the bed?
The only job I could find was the supervisor of the playground, I did not know if I would be suitable to stay in contact with children for so many hours a day. My only experiences related to my brother, who was a little brat, and you can not say we went on very well, especially considering the time that I broke his nose. But this time I had to prove I could do some serious work and maintain it, I could not go home to my mother with his tail between his legs! So I had to go all out, distribute smiles e. .. and what else I should do? It was normal to be so afraid of four brats? Maybe this just was not the right approach, but I set out to work full of optimism and trembling legs.
Somehow, I do not know why, but I found that the job was not all bad, and that strangely practiced a strange fascination for children .. and girls .. and mothers, is particularly on mothers, but I did not want to give up everything I had built up to that time and return to the old Julius. If I had seen, Fran was amazed and proud of me, maybe he would change his mind about me. With the first bills came the first salary, and that meant ... monthly expenses to be incurred and can afford to pay. It meant above all that I could finally start my project home. I did not know anything about construction, but I would have tried hard though.
Do you remember when I was talking about the fate that makes fun of me? That same day, aedicule next to "home" I met the last person I expected to see. I immediately recognized the short cut, the way of dampening the index to turn the page as he read, his eyes sharp and alert. It was not possible. Rebecca. What was he doing there to Rebecca Creek Verona? Ok, in theory, should have graduated last month but ... Without an explanation turned on his heels and tried not recognize me when I left briskly. Why, if Rebecca was the only woman in the world who could understand me, his only view I had driven to flee? I should have chess .. hugs ... Perhaps the conversation I had with Fran conditional ...
"Giulio Lima how dare you!" Well, I had seen ... but then, how to escape with Rebecca? I turned and smiled at her in amazement, pretending it was all a joke ...
"You're still the same idiot! What are you doing here? I thought I had gone to live with the tissue paper! I have just graduated, with honors 110 of course, but then you know me, I would not accept less! Ah you know, at the end Raz started with doctors without borders! Glad he ... we hope to be able to find inner peace! But listen, it's not that I really wanted to see? "
" No.. I ... "I tried to speak, but as usual Rebecca did not let me finish my sentence ...
"Behold, I say! I could never forgive Fox! But I do not feel you have not answered .. what are you doing here? I just bought a house just around the corner from here ... You know I got a job in a studio, I could not pass up the opportunity! But how come you're so silent? "
".. well I've bought land in these parts e. .."
"A land here? But it's great! We can do it again our long talks .. like once you've got a balcony? Not me .. but we can do the same even if we do not have a terrace, right? Ma .. now I gotta break, I expect, and the lunch break is over, but ... maybe leave me your address, even that stupid, I call on the phone and one of these days I'll call you .. I see .. it is not strange that the tissue you launched a trick? Ok, ok, I'll call you? "
Rebecca did not call, did not call it that evening or that later it throughout the following week, and I must admit that I felt relieved. He was one of those days that came home I found a surprise waiting for me. I recognized the silhouette from a distance, the long hair blacks a bit 'messy, the cat's eyes. The "tissue" as he called Rebecca was waiting for me next to the ones I liked to call "the foundations of our future home." It is because that was the house that I built for myself e.. The woman I loved, and at that time was the woman I loved her.
I let myself carried away. My first thought was that she had returned them to stay. The courses meet ...
"I knew you'd come back, I knew it! I knew you'd forgiven! "
" Julius, you know that I'm not here because I have forgiven, but because you have another of your combo! Why do you sow the mess and then it's up to me to address them? When did you grow up? "
" But .. "
" I called the owner of ... .. what the university told me that we still have as many as 3 months of rent. Explain to me why? If I'm correct in I had left my bag hand ... so in theory ... What have you done Julius? "
Ok. Julius is common mind and try to remember. I came back to mind that night ... ok, I'm back home after a night to say the least with the red hot ... but this is better not tell him ... ok, then I got home and I stumbled on the first step and I found the letter on the dining table ... and inside were the money ... e. .. I have them made and then? Remember Julius! Remember! Then .. I just remember all of them spent in beer ... Rebecca and then ...? Ok, it was better if I invent a lie, in fact, Frank was already angry at the death ... it was better if we change the subject!
"Come, I'll show you something! This is my home! Ok, I know, it's just a platform for now but ... I've already ordered the lumber to start building at least the bathroom! Come on, go up the stairs .. well careful though, I have not yet well established. Sometimes I sit here at the center of the platform, and I start to think. Do you remember the early days when we had our picnic on the roof? You carried the sandwiches and I ... Well we had fun! Do not regret a bit 'too these days? Acanthus ... Try to sit to me, try to see things from the same perspective ... at least at this time. "
She did not seem to listen to me, walked to the platform dreamily, perhaps she imagined his future home in its entirety.
"I put the kitchen in the corner ... them and maybe, just where you are you now a marble fireplace ... I heard that here in Verona Creek winters are very cold ... then put them on the stairs leading to the room above ... I thought I put on the parquet floor, heat from an idea and maybe paint the walls .. Fran? Are you listening? "
She shook herself from her dream and went back to the expression that he usually lasts ....
"No, Fran, wait, because you're leaving! I ... What did I do this time? All this, I'm doing all this for you, for us! I am putting us all to change ... why not try to open my eyes and see that I am really changed? I also have a steady job! I became a teacher, now have a reliable person, and I know what I want! I want you! "I took her by the shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.
"Well, Julie, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but things do not always go as you want! You ask if I noticed that you've changed e.. Well, of course! To know what I rode? I rode that could change before, and not let everything go to hell first! Could you please you when we were children together and I kept asking to try to have one our own! You say you are more responsible, but when I discussed the problem of the rent you have changed the subject! I know that I had to compensate all? And pay a premium? This what the new Julius had not considered "
" You have no idea what it meant for me to come home and discover that you left me like that! I spent the next week to get drunk! I know it was wrong in the past, but I'm trying! If it's because I indemnify all of the rent! Quiet ... "
" But Julie, you do not really want to understand! The problem is not the rent! The problem is you think that the world must necessarily turn everything around you! Money is the least of my problems, is a question of responsibility, to think that for once you think about someone other than you! Why not think about how difficult it was for me to leave? And how difficult it was for me to come here today? Think Julius! "
Here. If he was going again, and once again I was letting go. Possible that the two of us always fine for fighting, and never found a point of agreement? In the end we had so loved ... and love where it ends? It can disappear like that, at any moment? It seems impossible ... But I was convinced that in one way or another I managed to get it back. I am a Lima, Lima, and never give up.
not heard it for weeks. I spent weeks to build the first walls and think about what I could do about it ... By now winter had arrived, the tent was not enough and more work was to proceed more quickly ... I kept to study, I realized that education was really my way, even if at the time I hated school and I was not a model student. It was in one of those nights of intensive study that I decided to make one last attempt. I tried the address in the phone book, and obviously there was ... Appeals last chance, I called my mother, me sipping sulfate ritual, and asked her the address. After all she loved Francesca, and wanted nothing more than our own reconciliation.
I was amazed when I found myself in front of that little house in Verona Creek. She had moved in my own city ... reason that if he did not want to see me? I picked up courage and rang the bell, and I repeated to myself that I should make her speech that afternoon. I did not know if she was at home, but I would not have moved from there until I could convince her that it was worth groped. Why it was worth it, right?
Ok .. I have not reread it, was giving birth but ... disgusting embarrassing ç___ç update! I hope we have learned something ... I hope to recover soon! The second part will contain your first choice) I run and hide ... sigh ...
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