Happy Tuesday! Exceptionally today is a day Lima! I hope to update that solves some of your questions ... and you'll come face others speak Giulia PA.
Love, I'd love to tell you all that we have not said anything, because even if ours was love at first sight, We have never been kindred souls. It always has been difficult to communicate even if the union between us has always been strong. I would like to tell you everything about me, I wish there were no secrets between us ... before you close your eyes, and night falls I'll tell you when I was a child ... All
think that for a child to grow up without a father is a trauma, but with a mother like mine was impossible. He was strong, he could easily carry on their shoulders all the burden of being a woman alone with a dependent child.
I thought that I would become like her big, beautiful as her, in spite of those who hated her red hair ... I've always considered the only gift my father was gone ... the amttina of my first day of school, never to return. Not a greeting, not a hug, not even money, do not tell them Volut ... but I wanted a hint of concern on his part. There's never really been with me, either physically or mentally, but that was crazy ... but he's always been a question mark, a mystery to me.
I spent evenings to soak his pillow with tears without understanding the reason of that abandonment justified ...
"Mom, when Dad gets home? Why come home to me right? "
"Julia, I do not think Dad Tornari home, he has left us forever ..."
"Why Mom? I do not understand ... "
" Honey, is not an easy thing to say ... but Dad is gone because of you, I see I have tried in recent years to convince him but .. . he persisted in not understanding. He can not stand you more, so there was never. "
" But if I do the good he returns? I promise, I will be very good indeed! I promise to stop making a fuss and do well in school! "
"Julia, it's useless for him you were a burden, he could and wanted to help but ... I just love you ... I only know what is good for you."
" Thanks mom ... "
The days were all the same, just me and mom, the two of us alone. Not that I weighed, but I would have liked a bit 'of the company ... of course, was the baby sitter, but it was not equal to the company of other children. I could never invite any of my high school buddies at home. It seemed that my mother carefully select all my knowledge, that what was bothering me, I was sure that he did it exclusively in my advantage, because I coleva well, it was or was not my mother?
One day I took courage in both hands and I asked:
"Mamy, I'll get a dog?"
"Julia, do not call me first mamy who is not well! Then a dog with fleas in the house? No thanks! What you and are you doing? CI plays a bit 'and then you get tired, I know you well, you're not responsible enough to have a dog! "
" a kitten? "
" Julia, then you make me angry? "
" But Mom you said a bad word! "It
got up and left me alone to eat the toast is cold, that after that fight, it seemed more rubbery.
On my birthday, when all the kids usually do pizza parties among friends and classmates, I was alone with my mother in front of a homemade cake from her. Seeing her so happy I could maybe show my disappointment? Give her reason to fight? I decided that it was worth it, I decided that as I always did what was best for the common good .. smile and blow those candles. A last look at her, holding his breath with emotion ...
I remembered that I had one wish ... I had so many, oh so many of them wish to twelve years beginning with the most futile ... .. I want a new dress, I would like a little dog, I would not most have red hair, I want to be beautiful like my mom ... and those important steps, those who think addormenarti the night before .... I would be good, I would like for Dad worth back to me ....
My mother called me his "draft a young girl," I do not see myself just like that .... I'd even cut hair to look like a little 'less ... not that my relationship with her ... but I was in the same deteriorating quelle'età when she was only a bale breaker, I do not know if you know ... more now that I was a teen I finally did everything I wanted, partly because of the baby sitter now I no longer needed, and the males just do not interest me. If I had my mother kept on a leash so I would be most likely a girl easy. Now talking about these things a little smile '... maybe because I'm talking about with you, or maybe because things have not changed at all since then ... now that I'm here and I'm watching you, I look at your eyes closed, and caress your face I wonder if it is time to grow a little '.
I was definitely a spoiled little girl. Since my mother had hired a waiter to come and do the housework, he had become the prey of my favorite jokes and why not, my bad things ...
"Yanez, do not think it's a little 'ambiguous for a man to be a waitress?"
"Miss Lima, I think that a man can do any job if they're honest!"
"Well, but why just a waitress? Why not the carpenter or the plumber? In short, the waitress really does seem a little job for a manly man! "
" Miss, when one wants to earn a living, I repeat inmodo honest, accept any job, but maybe a spoiled little girl like her can not understand a concept so hard! And just to clarify, I am not a maid, but a waiter. "
poured on the ground the drink in my hand ...
"Well, waiter, there's no clean up! Do your work honestly, and do not give me more of spoiled little girl. "
I let go I there, with that bewildered face, I never said anything to my mother that her conversation course .. did not want me to speak with the servants ... plus I did not want him off, and I lost my only playmate.
About playmate! My mother decided to surprise me .. one day he came home and told me that from now on, I could finally have company, I thought it was some much-needed dog / cat, but the animal in question turned out to be the son of a superior rich ...
"But Mom! We may want to breed as purebred dogs? "
" Julia! Do not talk over you as if you were a dog, please! And then for your own good! Jeremy is such a nice guy, comes from a good family, and is rich! Maybe you do not understand that to maintain the lifestyle to which you were accustomed to the roads are two possibilities: either you earn it, or you marry someone who does it for you! And I'm serving the second option on a silver platter! Now give yourself a system that you seem pale now, and come into the living room, I can not wait you know! "
I stood there, impaled, unable to utter a word, and I felt somewhat 'as Yanez that morning, powerless to the whims of a powerful, that power was not at the bottom.
At the sight of Jeremy knew him, was the typical nerd of the school, has friends that just because it is full of suck. In the end it was like me, the only difference was that I was beautiful, he was not. In short, for a moment the door was left open to giggle about him that ate a sandwich prepared by my mother (not exactly a culinary sophistication) and second, I was terrified to speak, and above all the rest of the school found out of this blind date scheduled! I decided the best thing to do was talk to him, moreover, could be an ally for sconviggere evil, that our parents!
"Um, Jeremy, I'm sorry a lot for this farce I ... "
" No Julia, my little sparrow, do not worry! I always lished from your eyes some interest ... and well, maybe I had aspirations a bit 'higher but ... the fact that you have used the influnza your mother to go out with me I was blown away e. .. I do not have the right word ... ah, yes! Flattered! "
" No, Jeremy, you do not understand! "
" ssssh, apple pie, everything is fine, basically you're a pretty good, and I know please! We will see very often from now on, we will know, so you'll have to adore me to learn to be neighbors tolerate your imperfections! "
Fortunately, the evening ended early, and I could get rid of him for a few hours .. I already imagined what would they say at school, the gossip haim all true, his sweaty hand that clutching my ... yuck!
Mom was very stressed at that time, the night he woke up in the throes of terrible nightmares, screaming like a possessed only to deny everything in front of me.
"Mom, you seem to have seen a ghost!"
"Do not say stupid things Giulia"
But his face remained troubled, and felt turn over and turn over in bed, unable to sleep more. I could not understand what the storm so .. basically things were going pretty well there, she spent hours on the phone, I even suspect that he had a man! But perhaps she was like me .. she missed Dad.
Not being a great cook, was limited to the preparation of sandwiches / toast / cheese sandwiches. The few weekends when she was at home they would spend together, making plans for my future marriage, 18 years, the last to speak more that had awarded for hard work, my votes waving at school ups and downs. Not that the second her school was important. That marriage would have settled for a lifetime without getting your hands dirty, I would become a "flawed woman," so at least I would have called Yanez. I continued to reject the idea of this marriage, and I tried in every way to convince her, but she was adamant.
One afternoon I tried my last paper, I came to beg her not to get married to Jeremy. She had just fought with her mysterious boyfriend on the phone, and maybe that had a little 'weak' but ... better for me, because she rescued me from this awkward companion. I free. free like a butterfly, I could program different from those of the cart wedding favors! It was, however, contrary to university ... the reason he told me once .. even though he had agreed not to marry me off with Jeremy, he did not mean that I would have found another good match. I collapsed on the world! Free for a few seconds .. and now back into the abyss! Long as it does but I could not choose with whom to be?
I noticed that after each of our fight, his mother had a panic attack that forced him to sit. The hypotheses were two .. or was there a spirit that protects me and punished every time he did something that I did not like, or she is at the bottom ... sorry did not like myself to do those things, but he did it for my own good, of course, was the second hypothesis. In the end it was my mother, my idol ... certainly was fighting, I got angry and quite a lot with her, but she was always at my side, but my father had abandoned me. I could never forget, I never wanted to forgive.
My mother had a secret, perhaps more than one. The night before going to bed he wrote all his thoughts in a diary, I was dying to read, to know what was hidden at the end of his world ... although we were mother and her daughter knew nothing, nothing about his past, nothing of my grandparents ... I had never even told how she met Dad. To me she was an unsolved mystery, and very interesting. One day I would definitely be able to read that book, to discover all those who did not share secrets with me!
More than once on the teen tried to sneak out of her with her friends, but I was promptly discovered!
"Julia! It comes in second! "
"..."
" Julia, do you think I'm stupid enough not vedertientrare in the bathroom? I know you're trying to get out of the window to go to get a ride with the four geese of your friends! "
" But Mom! Heck, sometimes I also want to have fun! Hanging out with friends, with raazzi ... "
That last sentence was the worst I could say!
"Oh sure, because when you find your mother a good party, you reject it as if he sucks, but you alone, you alone will know that you will choose! I'd like to see that the end would you do if there was me thinking of you! Your father is gone, I stayed, apprezzalo a good time! If I let you choose from one finiresti married to the paper boy, or worse, with the maid! "
" It's called Yanez, and is a waiter! "
do not know why that came out of my mouth a little clarification so happy, perhaps because the feeling I had spoiled define wounded more than they gave you to see, perhaps because he did not know what was behind the seeming perfection. I went to give my mother a kiss on the cheek in apology, when I was little I did com. She walked away. I felt something break in there for me, as I was not hurt and was never in the room I went to sleep. We would not have talked about that night.
Over the years the space became gray hair on the head of my mother, so she took the drastic decision to cut them, and take a less rigorous and more youthful. There remained, however beautiful .. I was wondering if one day I would become so austere and at the same time "intoccaile. Certainly over the years had not lost its character, but at least it had stopped boyfriends propose hypothetical. Of course I was also allowed to find one by itself. My life was really lonely to be a teenager, I would give anything to shake a bit 'my life!
That phone call was a lightning from the blue .. do you remember the saying "do not want a thing, could come true? It happened just that .. a huge lightning came into my house through the telephone wire.
"Hello?"
"..." "Hello who's talking?"
"You are Julia Lima?"
"Yes, I am, but who are you?"
"..."
"Who are you?!"
"Are you alone at home?"
"I will not answer any more Asked if first you do not tell me who I'm talking about! "
" decisive character eh? Like your mother! Well, let's say I know where your father ... now you tell me if you are alone at home or not? "
".... you."
"Well, I'll be with you soon , the two of us we need to talk. "
what to do in those cases? I spazzolai hair twice, checked that everything was all right ...
not even know why I had accepted so that stranger in my house ... I had always lied to mestesso saying that I did not care where it was time scoundrel of my father, but this time I realized that I would do anything to fate to have some information. If Apevia man, and could give it to me was the well-come.
"Nice, I'm Julia Lima!"
"Oh, you're even more beautiful than your mother! Indeed, I am amazed by so much beauty! "
blushed of course ...
"Are you ...?"
" Kennedy, also of you ... give me call Kennedy. "
" Ok, Kennedy! "
smiled like a stupid, not because the man I really liked, but because anticipating the time when we talked about my father ...
Haim that moment never came, we ended up talking about trivialities such as school, my friends, my relationship with my mother ... even Jeremy! He already seemed to know many things, but also wanted to know the little things, and despite the tremendous hardship that I was the contented, in short, I hold it good, I know!
At the crucial point, my mother came home and surprised us in the garden to talk like two old friends. His face said a thousand words ... I got up and left them alone, knowing that I expected a terrible fight with her ... and saddened because I had found absolutely nothing! Damn, I was just burnt out, I could hear them scream, especially my mother, I had arranged a big trouble, I was in the kitchen, in their garden, but still felt their voices, but could not make out the words .. I just realized "Giulia" ... enlightening!
"No! Kennedy is adamant! You do not ever have! "
" Julia, you're really a very sensible woman! You know very well, I am a very rich man ... I could keep both, no problems, you would have the lifestyle you've always wanted ...."
"I have other plans for my daughter, I am sorry to Kennedy, but is best in town for her! "
" There's always better for you, right Isabella? And then what happens? Do you find yourself with absolutely nothing in my hand! If I remember correctly the last time someone you preferred to me .. then you repent! "
" Look at you Isa! You're no longer young and beautiful as it once! You are submerged up to their necks in debt, struggling to pay the bills, and the only thing that you insist on defining "your" Giulia is "
" Do not talk about things you do not know Kennedy! Do not talk ... Shut up! "
" Pride, pride, pride! Like when you get pregnant from the mailman made! Choosing very proud of you! Yet if I remember correctly the options were 2 ... Keith it was a penniless, the other was me! This choice I've never understood Isa! I always wanted to Julia, is destined to be mine, and you know, I am a very patient person! I've been waiting sixteen years to get it .... I can not wait! "
" I do not know if you understand ... but Isa I am ready to tell the whole the truth to your daughter about what happened to your lovely hubby .... to tell her that it was not a voluntary departure her! Oh yes ... if he knew the police for you this would be a great trouble ... even your "protectors" could do much to save her ... the half moonisland date or you have not saved your ass in my beautiful life! Plus, he has 3 or 4 people who would be willing to do anything to give the coup de grace. My lovely Isa .. you are cornered! Give me Julie ... the rest ... you could get rid of something you never wanted to ... and give you to live with us "
" Cursed be the day when I asked you Kennedy help! "
" Benedict that day Isa! hahahahah "
" Listen to me my dear, you Julia ... but on my terms! "
" I think you're not in the right condition to make demands Isa! What is very clear that I grant you! You will live with us, and do not open your mouth more. It seems to me enough. Of course everything you do will put at risk .. you know ... your freedom. From the babe, Julia was always destined to be MIA. Now it will be, and you, you will not make us absolutely nothing. "
"..."
" Selfishness 1, maternal instincts 0! Better for me! And the winner is .... drum roll ... Kennedy! Who will give the good news to Juliet? "
I could not help myself ... I peered through the curtains and saw that they had finally stopped arguing, Kennedy smiled with satisfaction, and my mother watched him leave. .. was about to cross the threshold of the kitchen .. it seems she must have given him permission to talk to me ... better. I just wanted to protect her ... I did not want me to suffer remembering the past, reliving unpleasant memories of abandonment of my father ... Perhaps she also suffered, but I was sure that with this information we could bury the past, and find ourselves more united than ever, all thanks to Kennedy!
Since that day, Kennedy visited more often our house was a strange man ... a little 'self-centered but funny, always made me laugh ... do not touch more than the parent argument, apparently I was not yet ready to know ... even if I was okay. I learned that he was the fianzato mum before she met dad loved each other ... maybe a bit more ... 'I liked the idea that a guy so became my adoptive father .... Mom was changed in recent times, did not talk much with Kennedy, perhaps he felt uncomfortable in front of me ... I do not remember it as an affectionate type, so I rationalized it. That was my new family! A mom, a dad, and I, the daughter ... maybe I could also have a brother or sister ... mother was a bit 'well, maybe ... but I had so many projects ....
One morning at breakfast I was talking to Kennedy about his next transfer ... we talked about the fact that he wanted to first upgrade the kitchen, make it bigger and brighter than the thought ... white and red ... I chewed my sandwich a bit 'bored, they should have them talk with Mom, not me!
"Then when we get married and come to live here, I will also build a living and buy a TV .. I'm surprised you have not ever had one! "
" Mom was the deviant ... "
" Your mother and his funny ideas! You'll see that when I come here to live everything will change, and you can decide many things! "
" Kennedy, you'll be an amazing father! "
He laughed, and I felt a bit 'embarrassed, perhaps the idea that wanted to adopt me was just my imagination ...
That afternoon I decided to apologize ...
"Kennedy Sorry, maybe my words this morning about the paternity was a bit 'unhappy ..."
"Mann Julia, you made me infinitely happy! I did not think you took the idea of marriage with such enthusiasm .. and are already talking about kids! I now know my age ... I thought I would not like! "
" But no! Kennedy, you're also younger than mom .. love knows no age! Then I guess you already, you in the white dress, a tuxedo with you ... we will be a beautiful family! "
" Julia ... I do not think you understood .. it has yet to tell you your mother? We are not you and I get married ... but you and me. "
The head began to turn around ... and I get married ... .. Kennedy began to breath easily ... I accidentally talked about how that morning will be a good father for our children and ... I have only seventeen ... O my God! I feel bad ... I heard Kennedy grab me as I fall to the ground ... the smell of cologne ... was a nightmare ....
And I'm done for today! But do not worry readers! The next update is scheduled for domenicaaaaa! I hope not to have too bored: P was a bit 'heavy today!
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